“Keith had to call her out that he isn’t happy.”

News broke yesterday that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have separated after 19 years of marriage, causing us to collectively fall to our knees in shock. Initial reports implied that the split was one-sided (Nicole tried to save the marriage!), but now the Daily Mail is out here with some details from a source about what, exactly, went wrong. And it sounds like time apart put a strain on the relationship.

“Keith never sees Nicole, either she is filming or he is on tour,” an insider said. “There was a lot of love between the two and they might not divorce. They been together for decades so there is a world which they can reconcile, but the way their pairing is now, they are not a couple.”

The source added, “The intimacy isn’t there, they are just going through the motions [of being married]. If this separation gets them back together, that would be amazing, but Keith had to call her out that he isn’t happy. She was blindsided, but we shall see how things go during the holiday season and his upcoming birthday [next month]. They have some work to do.”

Fingers crossed things work out!